Love/Crossed: A Look into the Life of an Enigma

Story by Rio Smith

            At first Lovelight Cross wanted to be liked. Now he wants the people at Montevallo to understand why he is the way he is, like it or not. That would give him enough happiness.

“I’ve seen and been a part of some tragic things, so you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t have a smile on my face when you see me, or don’t make sure I don’t hurt your feelings when I do or say something,” Lovelight warns in a passionate, matter-of-fact manner.

Everyone has seen him around in one way or another. Wearing headphones and shirts that depict somewhat scantily-clad women, he cruises listening to music, usually his own. When he’s in his vibe, life seems easier to handle that way. In a school full of unique people, Lovelight Cross may be one of the most unique. Perhaps a victim of his persona and circumstance, some find him difficult to approach socially.

Lovelight Cross

“Lovelight has a very strong and hard personality,” said Savannah Kidd, a Mass Communication major. “When seen in public, he seems to be caught up in his thoughts.”

 Perhaps he’s unintentionally intimidating to some. Perhaps his un-stimulated face takes others the wrong way. Whatever the case is, he feels it around him and hate what he feels, only adding to the unapproachable factor. Even as a member of Alpha Kappa Lambda, Cross acknowledges that division exists in his own fraternity in regards to his likability. Cross said he believes that actually trying to talk to him is the best thing. 

“I feel like people don’t understand me because they haven’t taken a legitimate effort to TRY to understand me,” said Cross.

Some people even have strong hatred for him. “Christina” is one of those people.

“He’s a butthole,” says “Christina,” who requested that her identity be withheld. “He’s arrogant and obnoxious. It’s like he’s always up to something sneaky.”

Cross knows of the criticisms of some of his peers. They end up either not liking him, not knowing him, or not understanding him. The irony is that the seemingly secret Lovelight is actually an open book. An aspiring, highly talented musician, he wears his heart on his sleeve and his heart pulsates in his music with the help of his good buddy and producer Zac Upton.

“I feel like I’m one of the most open people on this entire campus and it’s funny to me that because of that, people fear me,” Cross said.

Even if one knows the title of a book, it’s almost impossible to detect the tragedies that lie within the pages without reading it. Within Lovelight’s saga, “love’s light” often time is not something that’s vastly present in many of the chapters. His introduction to the world was a dark one. Born Cedric Jerome Cross in Huntsville, Alabama, he found himself as the illegitimate son to a married Nigerian man and a troubled African-American woman who would eventually serve time in prison for hijacking cars and stealing identities. Even as his aunt took the role as his legal guardian, life felt more like being in a concentration camp than a safe haven. She constantly berated him which ended up scarring him, shattering his innocence and distorting his identity. Speaking of identity, Cross’ aunt even stole his identity and put him into debt, a hole he has yet to crawl out of. 

Here’s another plot twist. Cross was beaten in high school by the black kids who shunned him for getting straight A’s. Cross witnessed his mother brutally beaten by his sister’s father. Cross’ sister was molested by his best friend when she was just 5 years old. Cross has been homeless…even while here in Montevallo, resorting to living out of his car and hoping to get access to Napier in order to take a shower. He told people he lived down the street just so that they didn't know he was homeless.

In a move to break away from the shackles of his family and show his reinvigorated passion to Christianity, Cross changed his name to Lovelight. But even as he started to find himself from within, he also found himself in a gray area.

“I feel like as I began to know who I was as a person and develop, I started to realize how much I am unlike everyone else,” says Cross, who still bears the problems of a misfit. “I’m not like the black people here. I’m not like the white people here. There is no one here I can fully relate to.”

Things took a turn for the worse as Cross almost committed suicide a couple of years back. Life became too much to bear. The University of Montevallo couldn’t make it better. Being an Army reservist couldn’t make it better. He says the decision to join the Army is one of the biggest reasons he was unable to transfer. Even as he breathes in the air, he hates the existence of living. He lives for one overriding love: Music. That passion, however is keeping him not only alive, but wanting to thrive. His resolve emanates from his past experiences and the masses can feel it. It resonates in his music.

“When I saw him perform at the Open Mic last spring, he stole the stage,” said Jacob Guyton, who is majoring in business. “His performance definitely was worth my time, and my time is very valuable.”

Savannah Kidd said she also believes that despite Lovelight’s rough patches, his will is immeasurable.

“Lovelight seems to be one of the most passionate people I’ve ever met,” she says. “He has huge dreams and his always looking striving to pursue his goals.”

Not everyone is afraid to approach Cross, however. Some students like Gabby Pringle could read him like an open book.

“The reason why is because not that many people know him,” said Pringle.

 But even though Lovelight Cross is not shy, one could imagine that he holds strong walls up. Although he holds his reserves about women (they annoy him) he, like his name, wants to love and wants to receive love. His brash tongue may have landed him into controversy at times, but at the end of the day he rides around on that skateboard, being comfortable in his own element, grateful for the people that have taken a chance on him in his music and taken the time to become his friend. Although he prepares to graduate from Montevallo with a bitter taste in his mouth, he does realize when people take the time to understand him, no greater ally for them exists. His message:

“To every person that has taken me as a friend, thank you, and I love you.”